im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
