So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
