I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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