Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
