I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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