just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
