yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
