the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
