My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
