and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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