I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
