what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
