She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
