so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
