Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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