I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
