He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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