I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
