They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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