haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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