Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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