singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
