I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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