So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
