need another drink. this is the easiest way
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
