people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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