That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
