She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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