This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
