I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
