So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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