Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
