So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize