so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize