I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
no. you can't hotbox the world.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think your dad took our porno
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
