If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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