There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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