ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
