i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
