Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
