Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize