I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
kristin has been a bad kristin
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
