I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
