It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
