Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
