Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
