If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize