Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
