fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
