hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize