dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Randomize
