Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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