how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
