i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize