Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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