New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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