So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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