saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I need water and some morals
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
