i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
