i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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