six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My life is pants optional.
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