ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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