I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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