I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think a kid would responsible me up
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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