I think im going to throw up on grandma
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
