He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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