If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
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