I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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