Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
