Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
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