Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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