Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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