Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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