I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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